You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.
– Matthew 5:43-44
Many of us want people around us to change their behaviours and attitudes in dealing with us. Often times, we are frustrated by their worsening mannerisms and their presence steals our own peace away. Well, maybe you can’t change anyone but you can determine how people around you affect your inner peace.
The foundation of a beneficial relationship is acceptance, and that goes without you pretending everyone is an angel. People are more likely to stay with you when they realize their personalities are safe with you without you having to crush them at the slightest provocation from them.
Most times when we admit others into our circle, we do so in our own terms. The toughest field of discrimination is right in our hearts. We write people off before we give them chance to prove they are worthy of our trust and friendship. Ironically, the way to improve yourself is to improve others. To improve others, you must deal with them in the light of their uniqueness.
Not even you want to change before being admitted into other people’s circles; why make such demand on others? Jesus illustrated this lesson with The Good Samaritan parable. Through his ministry, we find all sorts of people in his circle. Remember, the sinful Peter, the Gentile Woman, the Roman Captain, the Samaritan Woman, Zacchaeus the extortioner, the sanctimonious Nicodemus, and Geneserenean Lunatic, the list goes on. He admitted all of these people into His circle without making any demand on them.
» Opening the room for other people’s peculiarities paves a way for us to add various colours to ours and that takes care of boredom largely.
» Admitting people into our spheres, focusing on their peculiarities, switches on the knowledge portal to us. This is the route to an increasing quality of life.
» Acclimatizing to other people’s environment makes you less of a conflict person and more of a peace person.
These do not suggest that keeping personal principles in relationship is undesirable, as a matter of fact, it advocates it. However, there is a great need to learn the value of opening up your world for people to learn from it and vice versa. The fact is people are like climatic conditions, you don’t expect weathers to change for you, and you acclimatize to them. Otherwise, you would be denying yourself a well of peace.
To help people improve, you must see them in the light of their own uniqueness. Effective leadership is largely about listening.
You will succeed in Jesus Name!