Thinking of divorce? This testimony is good for you. It will help you to think twice.
“I am 32 years old. Me and my ex-hubby dated for six years, I started dating him while I was in grade 12, I was 19 years old then. We were best of friends. I waited until he completed college and started work, my family, and his family then met, we got married and had a son. (7 years old now).
My husband was short-tempered at times, but our problems started when I wanted to make him feel like he couldn’t control me. Every time we argue, I would pack my bags, go to my family and explain. My sisters would phone my husband and shout at him. If he is controlling me I would always dare him that if he wished to divorce me, he should do so. I never wanted a divorce, I just had pride and I never wanted to look a loser in his eyes.
One day, I pushed him so hard that for the first time he beat me and locked me outside. I went to my family; my family took him to the police. This happened every time. I would pretend like I was being abused! But to be honest, I used to abuse my husband emotionally.
He was arrested and detained. I was asked by his family to withdraw the case. My husband was never a violent man; he did what he did because I pushed him to the wall. Of which he openly knelt down and apologized. I withdrew the charges, and we reconciled.
After three months, I packed my bags after a small issue, and he remained alone. After two days I received a call that he was in the hospital, my family told me that I shouldn’t go there because it would look like I was begging him, and my sisters believed he was faking the illness.
All this time, people felt sorry for me like I was the one being abused. He spent a week in the hospital, after he came out, I just received a divorce summons. I wanted to say no to divorce, but because I felt this pride, I wanted him to change his mind and beg me. I called him and said he will get the divorce because I had been living like I was in hell. This, of course, was not true.
When we went to court, I wanted to make him pay, so I told the court that I needed his properties to be shared. To my surprise he openly told the court that whatever he and I acquired together should be given to me, all he wanted was divorce.
We got divorced in July 2009. This Saturday, my ex-husband is getting married again, whilst I am here wasted! My family members are gossiping about me, and I depend on what my ex gives to my son for survival.
I know I wasted my marriage. I am here telling all wives to be careful how they get advice. Don’t be cheated. Even my young sisters are much more respected than me. Those who encouraged me to get a divorce are the ones always bad mouthing me now.
There is no benefit in pride! This is a perfect example and advice for those dancing in some overrated ego.
Credit: Relationship Matters Forum
Meditation: Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. – Proverbs 16:18 (NIV)
You will succeed because Jesus loves You!!!
The Sweetheart Chair
No matter where she moved or who she married that little chair had a place in her home. I had admired it for years and, although it was nothing special except that it belonged to her, I longed to have it. Bright pink corduroy, she called it a “Sweetheart Chair”. It was sort of heart-shaped on the back and I guess the color, pink, gave it its name.
Why I was so drawn to it, I can’t really say. I just was. Aunt Ann was like a second mother to me; full of advice, especially about men, relationships and marriage. Heaven knows she was fully schooled to give it having had four husbands of her own, two of which she just plain outlived.
She believed in marriage and it was quite obvious that when she was between husbands, she wasn’t happy. She loved taking care of her husband (and everyone else for that matter), waiting on them hand and foot, satisfying their every need.
God-fearing and a true servant to the Lord, she lived her life as an example of that and there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t draw from her unfaltering faith and her willingness to serve Him and others.
Pecan pies were her specialty and my Dad said she was as good a cook as my Grandmother (who, he would always add, was one of the best). If I needed a recipe for anything, it was her I called because she knew it by heart and even today I can fondly hear her say, “Well Honey, let me tell you what you need.”
Like my Grandmother, Aunt Ann never met a stranger and her home and her kitchen table were open to anyone and everyone. She made sure you never left without eating something, even at the very least, a piece of pie and coffee.
I guess that is why I wasn’t surprised by her answer when I mentioned the chair. “Aunt Ann,” I said while admiring it again, “if you ever decide to get rid of that chair, would you let me have first dibs?”
“Why sure, Honey”, she would say. Then, in a whisper, “You just come over sometime when Harry isn’t around, and I will just give it to you”.
I knew she feared Harry and what he would say or do if she gave something away, so I just accepted that. He was her fourth husband and at the time she met him she was well into her seventies and had all but given up on the idea of having a companion for the remainder of her life. Harry courted her with flowers and cards, gifts and affection and she was like a schoolgirl with her first crush. A retired fireman, he seemed perfect in every way and we were all thrilled when she announced their plans to marry.
But Harry was not the man she thought he was and the following nine years with him would prove to be a struggle and a challenge of faith, hope and love for even the most dedicated of Christians. In long conversations with her on the phone late at night, she would reveal to me the darkest and most troubling of stories about Harry and his bizarre behaviours. I knew she was afraid, afraid to stay and afraid to leave. We would talk for hours and I was always instructed by her, “Now Honey, don’t say anything to anyone, this is just between us, OK?”
As we grew closer, I learned to love and respect her more than I ever thought possible. She was so good to everyone, and no matter how much she was driven down by Harry, she would always rebound with a smile and a kind word. Although I feared for her safety and wellbeing, her dark secrets about Harry were mine and hers alone and out of love and faithfulness to her; I kept them to myself as she had asked.
October 12th of 1999 would prove to be one of the darkest days of my life when word came that she had died tragically and unexpectedly. My personal loss was unbearable. Gone was my mentor, my advisor, my counsellor and the one person who could light up my life with the sound of her voice. I was lost.
The months following her death would result in a total lack of communication and cooperation from Harry. He closed the doors and locked us out, denying us even the smallest of her possessions. Months later, after hopeless negotiations with Harry and as a last resort, her daughter Jan would hire an attorney to obtain a small list of personal items that belonged with our family and had been handed down through generations.
As my 50th birthday drew near and still grieving her loss, I dreaded it. Each special event in my life since her death just didn’t have the same enthusiasm and I knew not having her here to burst through the front door, carrying her pecan pies and calling out to me, “Honey, what can I do to help you?” would be yet another challenge to my faith in understanding why.
As I busied myself with preparations for the party my daughters were hosting for my 50th, the doorbell rang. Aunt Ann’s daughter, Jan and her husband Joe had dropped by to wish me a happy birthday and apologize for not being in town to attend the event the following day. We visited for several hours and caught up on family and friends, world events and local news. Joe excused himself and went unnoticed to his truck. A few moments later he returned carrying a rather large wrapped ‘gift’ that he carefully sat down at my feet. “What’s this?” I questioned. “It’s your birthday present. Open it up”, Jan coaxed.
Bewildered by the whole thing, I cautiously unwrapped the gift. I stood in total silence and amazement, my throat blocked by a huge emotional lump. There, at my feet, was that little pink Sweetheart Chair. I turned to my cousin, with tears in my eyes, unable to speak. As if she could read my mind she explained, “When I gave the lawyer my list of items I wanted from Mother’s house, I remembered the chair – the chair I knew Mother wanted you to have.” I had no idea she even knew of the discussions about the chair, much less that she would request it – for me! It was the perfect gift – and suddenly turning 50 never looked better to me.
To lighten the mood, Joe asked with enthusiasm, “Well, where do you want it?” I wiped my cheeks and instructed him, “Follow me, I have the perfect place for it”. He picked it up once again and followed me down the hallway to my room. As he sat it in the spot I selected, the wonderful memories I had of my conversations with Aunt Ann filled me with a warmth I had long forgotten since her death. Her very presence was there too. So there it sits, that little pink chair – the Sweetheart Chair, she called it – right there in my room and when I open my eyes in the morning, it is the first thing I look at and remember with great fondness my special Aunt Ann and I can almost hear her say, “Now Honey.”
By Linda Stallings
Meditation: The memory of the righteous is blessed, But the name of the wicked will rot. – Proverbs 10:7
You will succeed because Jesus loves You!
Truth of Life
One day, during an evening class for adults, the psychology Teacher entered the class and told the students, “Let’s all play a game.”
The Teacher asked one of the students to volunteer. A lady, Aliza, came forward. The Teacher asked her to write 30 names of the most important people in her life on the board.
Aliza wrote the names of her family members, relatives, friends, colleagues and her neighbors.
The Teacher told her to erase three names that she considered most unimportant. Aliza erased the names of her colleagues.
The Teacher again told her to delete five more names. Aliza erased her neighbors’ names. This went on until there were just four names left on the board. These were the names of her mother, father, husband and only son. The entire class became silent, realizing that this wasn’t a game anymore for Aliza alone.
Now, the Teacher told her to delete two more names. It was a very difficult choice for Aliza as she unwillingly deleted her parents’ names.
“Please delete one more,” the Teacher said.
Aliza became very nervous and with trembling hands and tears in her eyes, she deleted her son’s name. Aliza cried painfully.
The Teacher told Aliza to take her seat. After a while, he asked, “Why your husband? The parents are the ones that nurtured you, and the son is the one you gave birth to. And you can always find another husband!”
There was total silence in the class. Everyone was curious to know her response.
Aliza calmly and slowly said, “One day my parents will pass away before me. My son may also leave me when he grows old, for his studies or business or whatever reason. The only one who will truly share his entire life with me is my husband.”
All the other students stood up and applauded her for sharing this truth of life.
This is true. God created marriage for all and it’s a relationship for life. Always value your life partner, it’s not only for husbands alone but wives as well. God has united these two souls as one and it’s on you to nurture your relationship above all other relationships you have with friends, loved ones and family.
Before marriage, God is first, your family second; but when you marry, God is first and your husband or wife second. So when you marry, Enjoy your marriage and make it healthy, peaceful and romantic.
Meditation: But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife… she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. – 1 Corinthians 7:33-34
You will succeed because Jesus loves You!
Two Wrongs That Make A Right
There were two houses standing next to each other. In one of them resided a very unhappy family. The spouses yelled at each other, they fought and quarreled all the time. The other was a place of happiness and calm. During one of the fights, a wife asked her husband: “Did you ever hear them quarrel or yell over at that house? No! So, go there and see what they do to avoid it!”
The husband stood at the window of his neighbors and watched. There they were busy doing their own thing. The wife was in the kitchen cooking and the man sat at the table writing. The phone rang and the man jumped up and headed to the hallway to get it.
On his way he bumped into a vase, it fell and broke. He got down to his knees and started picking up the pieces. The wife ran into the room from the kitchen. She also knelt down and started helping her husband to pick them up.
The man said to his wife: “I am so sorry. I rushed to get the phone and bumped into the vase. It fell and got broken.”
The wife replied: “No, honey, it is my fault. I put it there on the way. That’s why you bumped into it.”
They kissed, and that was over. Both got back to what they were doing.
The man who watched them returned to his wife. She wanted to know what the secret of their happiness was. What he said was fantastic: “I know it now. In their family they both are guilty and in our family, both of us are always right!”
That’s the secret of family happiness. The trick isn’t in not wanting to take responsibility, but rather in not claiming a right. There are times you need to forfeit your right to foster peace: it all depends on which you cherish most.
This recipe is applicable, not only in the home but also at work, on the road, in the marketplace, between nations, all relationships.
Meditation: It is honorable for a man to stop striving, Since any fool can start a quarrel. – Proverbs 20:3
You will succeed because Jesus loves You!
The Prodigal Couple
A wife joined her husband in the bedroom. Their children were asleep. He was busy reading the newspaper.
She looked at him. “My love, there’s something I need to confess” she began to speak.
“What is it?” he asked without looking at her, his face still glued to the newspaper.
“I have been unfaithful,” she said.
He looked at her with fiery eyes. He slapped her. For the first time in their marriage, he slapped her.
“How could you woman?! Seventeen years of marriage, four children and this is what you do to me? You cheat on me? How can you stoop so low?” he shouted.
He got up from the bed. He started pacing as he continued shouting, “You are the one who always tells me to keep off women. Out of respect, I keep females at a distance and you on the other hand do this?”
He was about to pounce on her and beat her. The sting of unfaithfulness enraged him. A knock was heard on the door. Their firstborn, Maria, a fourteen-year-old girl walked into their bedroom.
“Mom, dad; is everything OK?” Maria asked.
“Get out! Get out!” he shouted as his daughter.
“It’s OK Maria, dad and I will sort this out. Go to sleep.” She told their daughter.
Maria walked out of the bedroom.
“Who is it? Who have you been unfaithful with? Give me his phone number. He will know today who I am.” he shouted, trying to grab his wife’s phone. She gently took her phone.
“Show me his number. Show me his face. The filthy animal who is snatching my wife,” he shouted some more.
“This is the man I have been unfaithful with, ” she said, handing her husband the phone. He looked at the screen of her phone and saw his own face and phone number.
“Me?!” he asked, puzzled.
“Yes, I have been unfaithful with you. I have been unfaithful to God because I have been so busy loving you. In my effort to be a good wife, I have forgotten God” she said.
He sat down on the bed, confused.
“When you met me, I was so devoted to God. In fact, you used to tell me that the most important reason you chose me as your wife was because of my devotion to God. I loved the godly man you used to be. We would pray and plan on having a godly family together. I remember the days I would fast and pray and tell God that if He blesses me with a good job, I will dedicate my career to Him. God did bless me, God blessed you, God blessed us. We did so well professionally, we got good money, we could afford a good wedding. We got married,” she explained.
He looked at her intently.
She continued, “The first few months of our marriage, we would pray as a family, go to Church, have fellowships, worship and do Bible study. But slowly, we stopped living by that Scripture that says ‘as for me and my household we will serve the Lord.’ We started having children whom we failed to raise in a godly way. With success, we changed our friends. We found the born again friends boring. We started worshiping money, success and materials. Look at us now, we live in a big house but God is absent. You started taking me to ungodly places to have fun, we started drinking too much, our children are ashamed by our drinking.”
He looked away from her.
“In order to please you, I changed too; thinking that being a good wife means tagging along with everything you do. I didn’t confront you when you started going astray, I didn’t pull you back to God, I got lost with you. So lost, that I started becoming proud, shallow, self-centred; all along thinking I am being a good wife. But this is not me. I have changed so much from the woman you found. We both have changed much.”
He looked at her.
“All these; the good house, the good meals we eat, the money we have, the comfortable life; they have made us forget the God who gave them to us. I am nothing without God and I feel ashamed that I have abandoned the God responsible for all I am and have. We have started having troubles in our marriage because the Lord is no longer building our love, we are doing it on our own and we will fail if we keep on like this.” She reached out and touched his hand.
“I want to go back to the woman I used to be. A woman after God’s own heart. I miss the peace that God gives. I miss worship. I miss reading the Word. I miss going to church and fellowship. I miss meditating. I miss praying with you. What does it profit me to gain a good marriage yet lose my soul, my God? I am going back to God. Only as a wife submitted to God will I be the best wife to you and the best mother to our children. He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from God, but I cannot bring favour to you if I continue being disconnected from God. I want my spiritual life back. I want God back in our home, our marriage, our family.”
He started breaking down in tears. His spirit was convicted. He held her tightly in his arms.
“I am sorry. I am sorry for going astray and taking you with me. You chose to marry me because you thought you are marrying a godly man. I miss being that godly man. Marriage shouldn’t be a stumbling block in our walk with God. The thought of you cheating on me ripped my heart apart; I cannot even begin to imagine how God feels when we are unfaithful to Him. God has blessed us this much and we turn our backs on Him. At the thought of you cheating on me, I was filled with rage, yet God patiently looks at us in our unfaithfulness desiring us to go back to Him. I want to go back too. I want more in my life than these earthly things, I want God. I want the God of my youth. I am so sorry for slapping you.”
That night, they knelt, repented and rededicated their lives and marriage to God. The prodigal couple came back to God. The next morning, they prayed together with their children. God returned back to that home because that couple returned back to God.
Meditation: if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land. – 2 Chronicles 7:14
You will succeed because Jesus loves You!
A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoebox in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.
In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife’s bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totalling £95,000.
He asked her about the contents.
‘When we were to be married,’ she said, ‘my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.’
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.
‘Honey,’ he said, ‘that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?’
‘Oh,’ she said, ‘that’s the money I made from selling the dolls.’
Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods; because Lord, if I pray for strength, I’ll beat him to death, because I don’t have time to crochet.
— Author Unknown
Meditation: Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls. – Proverbs 25:28
You will succeed because Jesus loves You!