A father’s influence goes to the fourth generation after him. A popular music artiste’s parents divorced when she was in kindergarten. When she grew old, together with her lover, she smoked crack in the presence of their five year old daughter. This artiste later died of drug abuse at age 48, while her young daughter died at age 22 for similar reasons. Great careers and, more importantly, great lives were thereby lost due to weak fatherhood.
While there is little you can do about your ancestors, there is something that you can do about your descendants. One thing that prevents a man from being a good father is that he hasn’t completed being a boy. To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today. Having kids doesn’t make you a father. Raising them does.
There are those who were raised up in unstable families, but they should not pass it on to their children. We don’t have to fight in the presence of our children. As adults, we can choose to shield their emotions from our disputes. To a large extent, you are a product of your early relationships.
Unstable parents create insecure children. Stable parents raise stable children. Children need affection (hugs, kisses), attention (listening) and affirmation (positive words) every day. When a man loves his wife, it creates security and stability. The best gift a father can give his children is to love their mother. Children learn how to handle feelings, loses, failure and conflicts from the home.
Regrettably, parenting can neither be delegated nor suspended for a while as we work for the ring of fame and fortune. The growth of children is irreversible. Like a young tree, it takes the bends directed by the gardener, so is the life of a child. You can’t shape it in adulthood; you can’t pick it from where you left off after you reach the top in your career pursuits. It’s always easier to model to young boys than to rehabilitate grown up men.
If you invest in your child, you don’t have to invest for your child. Children require presence, not just presents. No amount of gifts and meeting their financial obligations can replace your personal presence. Inherited wealth by an irresponsible child gets squandered in a few years. The only sure inheritance that you can leave behind is the investment you make in your child, not for your child.
Meditation: “…For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness and justice, that the Lord may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him.” – Genesis 18:19
You will succeed because Jesus loves You!