Health Check-up by God

Health Check-up by God

I went to the Lord’s Clinic to have my routine check-up and I confirmed I was ill. When Jesus took my blood pressure, He saw I was low in tenderness. When He read my temperature, the thermometer registered 40 degrees of anxiety. He ran an electrocardiogram and found that I needed several “love bypasses” since my arteries were blocked with loneliness and could not provide for an empty heart. I went to orthopaedics because I could not walk by my brother’s side and I could not hug my friends since I had fractured myself when tripping with envy. He also found I was short-sighted since I could not see beyond the shortcomings of my brothers and sisters. When I complained about deafness, the diagnostic was that I had stopped listening to Jesus’ voice talking to me on a daily basis. For all of that, Jesus gave me a free consultation thanks to His mercifulness, so my pledge is to, once I leave this clinic, only take the natural remedies He prescribed through his words of truth: * Every morning take a full glass of gratitude. * When getting to work, take one spoon of peace. * Every hour, take one pill of patience, one cup of brotherhood and one glass of humility * When getting home, take one dose of love *

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The Weathered Old Barn

The Weathered Old Barn

A stranger came by the other day with an offer that set me to thinking. He wanted to buy the old barn that sits out by the highway. I told him right off he was crazy. He was a city type, you could tell by his clothes, his car, his hands, and the way he talked. He said he was driving by and saw that beautiful barn sitting out in the tall grass and wanted to know if it was for sale. I told him he had a funny idea of beauty. Sure, it was a handsome building in its day. But then, there’s been a lot of winters pass with their snow and ice and howling wind. The summer sun’s beat down on that old barn till all the paint’s gone, and the wood has turned silver grey. Now the old building leans a good deal, looking kind of tired. Yet, that fellow called it beautiful. That set me thinking. I walked out to the field and just stood there, gazing at that old barn. The stranger said he planned to use the lumber to line the walls of his den in a new country home he is building down the road. He said you couldn’t get paint that beautiful. Only years of standing in the weather, bearing the

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Four Boyfriends

Four Boyfriends

Once upon a time, there was a girl who had four boyfriends. She loved the fourth boyfriend the most, adorned him with rich robes, and treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him nothing but the very best. She also loved the third boyfriend very much and was always showing him off to neighbouring kingdoms. However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another. She also loved her second boyfriend. He was her confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he would help her get through the difficult times. The girl’s first boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and kingdom. However, she did not love the first boyfriend. Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him! One day, the girl fell ill and she knew her time was short. She thought of her luxurious life and wondered, I now have four boyfriends with me, but when I die, I’ll be all alone.’ Thus, she asked the fourth boyfriend, ‘I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I’m dying, will you follow me and keep me company?’ ‘No

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One Guy Didn’t

One Guy Didn’t

Three guys were tried for crimes against humanity. Two guys committed crimes. One guy didn’t. Three guys were given government trials. Two guys had fair trials. One guy didn’t. Three guys were whipped and beaten. Two guys had it coming. One guy didn’t. Three guys were given crosses to carry. Two guys earned their crosses. One guy didn’t. Three guys were mocked and spit at along the way. Two guys cursed and spit back. One guy didn’t. Three guys were nailed to crosses. Two guys deserved it. One guy didn’t. Three guys agonized over their abandonment. Two guys had reason to be abandoned. One guy didn’t. Three guys talked while hanging on their crosses. Two guys argued. One guy didn’t. Three guys knew death was coming. Two guys resisted. One guy didn’t. One. Two. Three guys died on three crosses. Three days later. Two guys remained in their graves. One guy didn’t. — Author Unknown Meditation: For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. – Romans 8:29 You will succeed in Jesus Name! Also read: Purpose: Sent to Deliver from Evil Purpose: Sent to Deliver From Wrath Why You Should Pray for Religious Leaders

You Ask Why I Follow This Jesus?

You Ask Why I Follow This Jesus?

You ask why I follow this Jesus? Why I love Him the way I do? When the world’s turned away from His teachings And the people who serve Him are few.   It’s not the rewards I’m after Or gifts that I hope to receive It’s the Presence that calls for commitment It’s the Spirit I trust and believe.   The Lord doesn’t shelter His faithful Or spare them all suffering and pain, Like everyone else I have burdens, And walk through my share of rain.   Yet He gives me a plan and a purpose, And that joy only Christians have known, I never know what comes tomorrow, But I do know I’m never alone.   It’s the love always there when you need it; It’s the words that redeem and inspire, It’s the longing to ever be with Him That burns in my heart like a fire.   So you ask why I love my Lord Jesus? Well, friend, that’s so easy to see, But the one thing that fills me with wonder is Why Jesus loves someone like me. –– Author Unknown Meditation: We love Him because He first loved us. – 1 John 4:19 You will succeed in Jesus Name! Also read: Jesus Really Loves You Did Jesus Use A Modem? The Resume of Jesus Christ

No Excuse Sunday

No Excuse Sunday

To make it possible for everyone to attend church next Sunday, we are going to have a special “No Excuse Sunday”. Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, “Sunday is my only day to sleep in.” There will be a special section with lounge chairs who feel that our pews are too hard. Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching T.V. late Saturday night. We will have steel helmets for those who say, “The roof would cave in if I ever came to church.” Blankets will be furnished to those who think the church is too cold and fans for those who say it is too hot. Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present. Relatives and friends will be in attendance for those who can’t go to church and cook dinner, too. We will distribute “Stamp Out Stewardship” buttons for those who feel that church is always asking for money. One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to seek God in nature. Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick on Sunday. The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who never have seen the church without

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